Leadership Soup

"Don't call me 'sir', I'm not a general anymore."

I'm not one to swoon over anyone in Hollywood, with one exception...Robert Redford.  I love his movies with no partiality to young Redford (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Three Days of the Condor), middle aged Redford (The Natural, Out of Africa) or the well aged Redford I saw this weekend in The Last Castle. Though over the years it hasn't hurt that he's not at all bad to look at, his appeal for me is mainly  linked to the characters he plays.  This is why I sat down to watch him in this flick again though I've seen several times before, but this go around I found a different spin to the story.

Redford plays an admired and decorated general who has been court martialed and sentenced to ten years in a military prison.  The warden, the guards and the inmates all recognize and immensely respect him, but he has accepted that his punishment is deserved, shuns the attention, and states that he will no longer be 'fighting anyone, for anything, anymore.'  However, it quickly becomes evident that he cannot help but get involved in the events at the prison; he starts by challenging the punishment of an inmate he befriended and soon leads an uprising targeting the overthrow of the warden for his cruel treatment of the prisoners. 

Like Redford's character, true leaders can't help themselves. 

True leaders find themselves drawn to battle.  It isn't about the title or the power or the prize because, more often than not, there are faster and easier ways to achieve those goals. 

In times of sticky politics, rampant self interest and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, the fire in the belly that brings you to lead is what keeps you coming back for more.  And here is how it looks...

Don't call me 'sir', I'm not a general anymore.
Redford's character chastised an inmate for respectfully calling him 'sir' even though his title had been taken away.  As it turned out, having the title of 'general' wasn't what made him behave like a general.  The energy and courage and desire to rise to the challenge doesn't start or end with a title or assigned authority.

Making mountains out of molehills.
Passion for doing what's right, for fighting even the small battles, and for finding satisfaction in forging the way to make it easier for those that come after you can often go unnoticed and unrecognized.  Finding satisfaction nonetheless is the sign of a true calling.

When the going gets tough on the road less traveled.
It's easy to avoid conflict and even easier to create it and run.  Not only does it take courage face adversity, but it takes a true leader to want to stick around and see it through.

Robert Redford gets to play the part and then move on to the next movie...this week ask yourself if you are playing the part of a leader or if you are a leader.  And can you help it?

A Matter of Marginal Utility

As I finished my fifth MBA class and continued my fight against thought atrophy, my near drowning in economic theory left my mind wandering (actually, more like running) from GDP, fiscal policy, and supply and demand.  My sincere apologies to Professor Platt for straying, but I found that some of the concepts applied to everyday life in ways that the textbooks most likely didn't intend.

'Marginal utility' is basically the measure of how much satisfaction, or how much use, you get out of having more and more of something.  In economics, it's about a consumer's demand for a product or a service as more is available (and as expected, there is even a formula)...but I started to suspect there is more to it than that.

There was this example about eating your favorite ice cream, and how, if given another one right after you finished the first, you'd enjoy it much less.  As I read on about 'diminishing' marginal utility and the fact that satisfaction and pleasure eventually decrease with availability, I wondered whether this could be the root to some of the boredom and apathy and unhappiness in our lives.

In our jobs and our daily activities and our relationships, there is a repetitiveness that can stagnate.  Remember the first few months of a new position at work or the first run outside after a long winter or getting to know someone new?  There is an excitement that seems to fade over time, or in the case of utility, diminishes as you get more.  Sure there are times when you should get a new job, find a different hobby, or end a relationship, but there are plenty more times when you should find freedom in the familiar and work hard to keep it fresh.  When it starts to feel like a chore, it's time to act.

As the routine of a job kicks in, when you think you've mastered it, recognize the opportunity the mastery offers to push the envelope and make major change...or maybe, you've only scratched the surface of the learning.  When you look at your running shoes and feel unmotivated, find a new running route.  If there doesn't seem like there is anything to talk about with your old friend or your spouse, celebrate and remember what brought you together and how there is so much more to learn about them.

Having more can make you a little lazy.  This works its way into all sorts of things. This week, make the effort to see the familar in a new way (or simply take a moment to appreciate it the way it is), and you may be surprised to find that you can't get too much of a good thing.

The Defensive Line

I've always been more interested in the positions that make up a football team and their role in the game than the actual game itself.  As glamorous as the offensive positions may be...quarterbacks and wide receivers and running backs and tight ends and their yardage and end zone dances...the defensive positions get my vote every time.  Linebackers and cornerbacks and safeties and defensive tackles...these players anticipate and react and do what it takes to hold back the offense.

So as I watched the Super Bowl last night, I wondered how 'being defensive' got such a bad rap. 

You know how these conversations go.  You know the feeling that rises from your belly that results in a protective comment (and often a recognizable tone) and the inevitable question, 'why are you being so defensive?'  There would be no defensive line without an offensive line.

The defense doesn't have the benefit of knowing the plan or the agenda, so the reactions are based on instinct, experience, and a knowledge of the other team and how they approach the game.  The offensive goal is to keep the defense guessing and break through before their plan is exposed.

This isn't to say that every conversation has an agenda or that a defensive stance taken, over things personal or professional, is always an appropriate or instigated response.  But covering an intentionally (or unintentionally) offensive approach by attacking the response it brings about is lacking self awareness.

I paid closer and closer attention to the players as I thought through how I enter a conversation (and, true to form, I have been known to play offense and defense with the best of them); it actually slowed the plays down for me.  I began to see that there was a place for everyone on that field and that their roles change depending on the circumstances.  Ultimately, though, when the play was over, whether a down or an interception or penalty or touchdown, the players (even in their disappointment or anger or joy) had to accept their contribution, adjust, and move on.

This week, I'm slowing down my conversations and paying close attention to the position I play.  And when I feel it rising from my belly or sense it rising in someone else, I am taking responsibility for that position, addressing my contribution, adjusting as necessary, and moving on.

Leader to Note - Mark Scheinberg

I am not impressed by successful people. 

I am impressed by how people become successful.

Last month, my friends Ted and Katy at Leadership Greater Hartford introduced Mark Scheinberg during their Leaders in Focus series.  As I sat and listened to Mark talk about his experiences as founder and president of Goodwin College, I was impressed.  I found myself jotting down some notes as I realized that those I see as impressively successful people became that way because they are impressively successful leaders.  Mark's commitment to building a prosperous academic institution was apparent, but it was his energetic leadership and the not hard to miss trickle down effect that it has on his staff, that makes him my first 'leader to note' on Leadership Soup.

One of Mark's comments that I jotted down was about meeting people and introductions.  His point...we have a tendency to tell people what WE KNOW when we should be telling people what WE DON'T KNOW.  My immediate connection was to my own distaste for the 'resume introduction', and the fact that you'll bore the heck out of the people you meet trying to let them know how smart and important you are.  But it goes deeper than that...growth comes from continued learning, and a tremendous source of learning comes from other people.  Before you trick yourself into believing you have this one nailed, look out for the common traps.

It's not just about asking questions...
I meet lots of people every day that ask lots of questions. What I suspect in many instances is that these questions are more about proving how smart they are than about getting actual answers that will help them learn.  Next time you are sitting in a meeting and are about to ask a question, ask yourself about the purpose of the question.

Been there done that...
Thinking that you've done the job before, experienced the situation before, or heard the story before immediately cuts learning off at the knees.  Respect for someone else's perspective and understanding, and a recognition that your own experiences are not the only truth, will open up both you and others to mutual learning.

It's only appropriate that Mark's passion for education led to a leadership lesson for me, and he's a clear indication that it's not just about achieving the success but, more importantly, about how you get there.

Deliberately Deliberate

Each year, as we head into our busiest season at work, I choose a word or phrase that reflects the focus for my organization.  I target something with a basic meaning that the entire team, no matter what position or role, can ground themselves in as the work days get longer and the stress gets a bit higher.

This year, I have been thinking about 'deliberate':
1: characterized by or resulting from careful and through considerations.
2: characterized by awareness of the consequences.
3: slow, unhurried, and steady as though allowing time for decision on each individual action involved.

Too often, our actions are not deliberate.  In haste, due to pressure, because of apathy or just out of habit, we answer questions, perform tasks, and react without taking pause or giving the due attention required...in more instances than we'd like to admit, this is when mistakes and errors (of all shapes and sizes) are made.

So deliberate is a great word to share with my team...deliberate actions, deliberate thoughts, deliberately deliberating...the errors made, not from lack of knowledge but due to lack of focus, will be all but eradicated.

But then I burned my pasta.

It's a simple activity boiling pasta.  I threw in some ziti, set the timer, and used that 11 minutes to get some paperwork done.  Then I realized the 11 minutes had come and gone, yelled for my husband to take the pan off the stove, and then heard the dreaded call from the kitchen 'IT'S BURNING!'  I now have a pan to clean and no lunch.  I also had a minor twinge of frustration that my husband didn't hear the timer and pulled my pasta before it boiled dry...

I'll stop there for self analysis.  I remember hearing the timer go off.  I also remember ignoring it assuming that in a few seconds I could be done with my paperwork and would have multitasked away one chore for the day.  My husband wasn't even in the kitchen.

This was not an example of being deliberate.  And I became painfully aware that it's not as easy as it sounds.  I pride myself on being a successful multitasker and quick and instinctual thinker, but as I thought about the pasta, all the instances of mistakes made doing simple tasks came flooding in...a assumption about an email, a quick reaction (that turned out to be way off base), any number of burnt grilled cheese sandwiches and batches of cookies and toast pushed down for one second more (and the list goes on and on)...

So this week, before I pass along this great word, I need to test my own fortitude.  For those of you who know me, call me out on it.  For the rest of you, call out yourself, and let me know what mistakes you don't make.

Thought Atrophy

I start my first MBA class this week.

As I was looking at schools and programs and shared my plans with family, friends and coworkers, I fully expected the questions.

Why now?  Why at this point in my career?  Why at my age?  Do I have enough time?  Do I feel like I have to do it?  Am I really going to get anything out of it?  Am I ready for the commitment?

These are the same questions I asked myself as I toyed with the idea over the last few years, and the answers were probably what kept me from moving forward until now.  There is never a good time, enough hours in the day, enough money, or guarantees of outcomes...and the 'have to' and 'need to' will make for some miserable years of degree pursuit.  So my motivation had to come from somewhere else.

Over the last several years, there were three themes that resonated...and, in 2009, they became my motivation to throw my hat in the MBA ring.

THOUGHT ATROPHY - Time and time again, I have met people in both my personal and professional lives that suffer from this malady.  It comes from being in a routine, developing a habit, avoiding conflict, settling for mediocrity, sidestepping change, and self protectionism.  It's a state of security in your knowledge, and it's the place where creativity and constant questioning shuts down.  I have seen lives slowly shrink and careers stagnate. 

Part of my strategy for warding this off is to constantly take on new responsibilities, to learn new things, and to never trust my knowledge or my skill too much.  As I head into my first class, it's in hopes of finding out that I know so much less than I even realized!

FEEL THE BURN -  As a runner, I have found out that a comfortable pace wasn't going to make me stronger or faster.  When I started to push myself beyond my where I thought I could go, I started to see the results.

Avoiding pain is human nature, but it's in those moments of discomfort, when you break down the muscles for them to heal stronger, that you experience growth.  The next few years (trying to balance work and school and life) aren't going to be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy, is it?

LEARNING BEGETS LEARNING - Once those synapses get firing, the possibilities are endless.  People begin new careers in their 50s and 60s, take up a new sport, and show incredible capacity for change even after years in a rut.  I have seen tenured staff come out of their shell and flourish.  The more you learn, the more capacity you seem to have for learning.

It may take some stretching (and you'll feel the burn), but once you're warmed up, you might as well take advantage.  In anticipation and excitement of my exploding synapses, I have also decided to learn Spanish and am eagerly venturing into new responsibilities at work.

Long winded answers to what I suspect were partly rhetorical questions.  I'll keep you posted as I enter this new adventure.

Stretch Goals and Humility (as seen through foggy swim goggles)

I decided to test my mid July fitness level and entered a local sprint triathlon.  I've written about my running in a couple of posts, and I continue to consistently log miles throughout the year...so that covered 1 of 3 legs of this Thursday afternoon workout.  The other two legs, admittedly, were not so covered, but I was feeling confident that I'd keep pace with a portion of the group.

I arrived early and witnessed the ultra fit exiting their cars and trucks; with obvious familiarity, there was lots of chatting...'Did you do last week's race in the Cape?'  This was not the portion of the group for my pace. 

As I was getting my gear organized, I watched the buoy that would mark the swim's turnaround point being towed out.  I started wondering when the heck they were going to stop and then, as it went further and further out, started thinking about how little I had swam this year (ok, 'little' equaling 'once').  In a hopeful act of calming, I waded out into the water for a warm up.  As I was getting out, I ran into someone from work (a very fit someone from work), chatted about the conditions, and realized that anonymity in a local race was a long shot. 

As I headed towards the starting group of goggles and wetsuits and swim caps, I ran into a woman who works in my organization who was there to watch her son compete...my nerves were rising now that my ego actually had an audience (besides my husband who initially questioned my readiness for the event but who was now reminding my growing anxiety that I was in good shape).

During the first half of the swim, I was satisfied with staying with a pack, even if it was the back of the pack that was at the back. However, once I rounded that darn buoy it started to become apparent that my main concern should be avoiding rescue by teenage lifeguards.  I had developed a charley horse in my hamstring, had succumbed to some creative version of the backstroke, and was searching for the shore through what had become severely foggy goggles.  It was now just one stroke at a time and becoming clear that I may be the last to leave the water.

As my feet finally touched the mucky lake bottom and then the beach, I asked my husband, 'Am I the last one out?'...'Yes.' 

No time to worry as I pushed my bicycle across the timing mat.  As I pedaled hard, I looked forward to making up some time and passing a few folks.  Fast forward a couple of miles, and my quads reminded me that I hadn't really rode much yet this year (ok, 'much' equaled 'twice').  Fast forward a few more miles, and the top racers were passing me on their second loop.  As I finished out the 10 miles on my bike, I didn't even ask where I was amongst the 100ish racers...the cheering of my 7 year old godson sent me off on my 5k run with a smile and the last drop of my competitive juice.

So this is how it ended (as I found out the next day when the results were posted)...crossed the finish line 87th out of the 99 racers that finished.  Not bad for a gal who dragged herself out of the water in last place.

I share this play by play because each stage of this race (from the moment I arrived til the moment I knew the results) required something different both physically and psychologically, and reflection over the following week allowed for those basic lessons we should all keep our eyes open to every day.

Stretch it. I knew that I was not well trained for this race, but I had set a goal of completing a triathlon in July...the success lies in finishing, learning, and looking forward to the next challenge.  I was able to keep my goal in mind, overcome the anxiety of failure, and hit a stride at the end that surprised me. 
You never get very far if you'd don't set some stretch goals. By definition, these are the extremely aggressive goals that you may not achieve; they push you well beyond your comfort zone and challenge your abilities, and it's where new possibilities are found both personally and professionally.

Be prepared when you're not prepared. Though I never once prior to the race thought that I'd finish last, I thought it numerous times during the race...I fully recognized as I was laboring toward the shore I was not prepared for the outcome of not being prepared. 
Too often, we don't go into situations with eyes wide open and are surprised, disappointed disillusioned by the outcome.  You can disguise lack of preparation as a calculated risk, but do a reality check to be sure you're ready for the consequences.

Humility and pride are strange bedfellows.  As I crawled out of the water, the woman from my org that I had seen prior to entering was cheering me on as I shrugged my shoulders in my disappointment (MJ...thanks for the encouragement!!); as I  was starting my running leg, the very fit coworker was concluding hers (Kari...AMAZING!!).  Letting go of the embarrassment but finding the strength and desire to push forward was an experience to carry with me.
It's our pride and egos that often drive us to the greatest successes, but those humbling moments are where most of the real lessons lie.

I'm already planning for my next triathlon (and looking for some swimming lessons).

Knowledge Hostage

Not long after my post called 'These are the times that try men's souls.' Happy New Year!, my fascination with the whole AIG debacle had gradually soured to boredom, teetering on irritation...enough already.  But as luck would have it, during one late afternoon meeting, I had a passing conversation that peaked my interest once again.

This fellow sitting beside me surmised that the whole media and public battering of the AIG bonuses was a bit remedial and that retaining the executives who made a shambles of things was a necessary evil; his thought was that the ones that made the mess are the ones who were needed to clean it up.

Though I have read plenty about the continued distribution of $165 million in bonuses despite accepting government bailout money, including an interview with an attorney arguing the contractual obligations, an article on lawsuits in California, and even a blurb about how some of the execs gave the money back, that's not what has led me here.

It's this idea of the 'retention' bonus and my meeting buddy's comment about why they were important that got me thinking about how often we are held hostage by other's knowledge.  Whether it's our own fear of a learning curve, a perceived risk associated with losing the 'keeper of the nuts', or just plain laziness around having to dig into the details, the tendency to hold on to experience for the sake of experience is a dangerous practice.  I definitely have a few scars to prove it.

Now don't get me wrong, experience and expertise are wonderful things, so I'm not suggesting that it's always necessary nor prudent to trade in for a newer model...in fact, that purposeful action is as dangerous of a proposition. However, keeping in mind some telltale signs that you are a knowledge hostage will keep teams and organizations fresh and moving forward.

1.  Key dependency - This is what I mean by 'keeper of the nuts'.  In this instance, one person knows where the nuts are hid and is not necessarily willing to share how to find them.  Sometimes, there are plenty of folks that know, you just have to find them....other times, you truly have a dependency that requires a focused strategy on spreading the knowledge.

2.  Perceived complexity - Lots of things are complex with long learning curves and training ramps to achieve expertise; however, rarely are things so complex that if one person leaves the whole organization falls apart.  The 'keeper of the nuts' often has a vested interest in perpetuating the myth of complexity.  Debunk the myth as soon as possible.

3.  Recycling - 'One man's junk is another man's treasure' may be a good quote for a tag sale, but it's not always a good philosophy when looking for talent in your organization.  Often times, the sense of urgency of filling a role with a candidate that has at least some working knowledge leads to the hiring of individuals who were less than successful in their last role.  Beware of recycled resources...ask questions, get referrals.

So I'm finally done with our pals at AIG, but I was able to squeak out one last lesson, even if indirectly.  It's time to take a fresh look and see your potential 'hostage' situations brewing...and let me know what you find.

And sometimes your blanket needs sleeves...

With the ShamWow lesson exposed, there was a response I didn't expect...why didn't I write about Snuggie? 

Don't worry, it's definitely getting it's airtime...Leno, Good Morning America, a blog called 'Snuggie Sightings', and props from an endless array of fairly respectable media sources.

I don't actually know anyone who owns one, but I have heard that people were wearing them at a St. Patrick's Day parade in Scranton and that one Saturday morning my husband came darn close to ordering one for our friend who always finds our house to be way too nippy.

I am not so sure that I viewed Snuggie much different than ShamWow sans a Vince (who I just read was arrested for punching a prostitute).  I am a proponent of putting on a sweater and some socks in lieu of flopping around the house or the local football game in something that makes you look like some sort of fleeced monk, but I apparently underestimated Snuggie's appeal.  And then I had a Snuggie leadership epiphany...

It's not always just another ShamWow.
It's tempting to write off ideas, solutions, or plans because you think you've seen them before, know the ultimate outcome, or don't want to waste the time to explore, especially when you have your own opinion well formulated from the beginning.

-An open mind and open ears are invaluable tools. 

Sometimes your blanket needs sleeves.
It's tempting to over commit and easy to under deliver.  Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves and promises nothing more and nothing less. 

-Quite often, there are simple solutions to simple problems.

Though I probably won't order ShamWow or Ab Rocker or Bedazzler or Hair Bumpits, I will be sure to keep my eyes open for the next blanket with sleeves.

P.S.  Joe and Kevin...your Snuggies are in the mail.

The ShamWow Leadership Lesson

Though I have some bad late night television habits, I stay clear of infomercials and any remote temptation to purchase anything being hawked at 2 a.m. (pay no attention to the Pilates machine that seriously looked fabulous but quickly found itself disassembled waiting for dump day). 

However, I do recognize the genius in the pitch. Most recently, I am fascinated with the ShamWow and Vince who enthusiastically shows us how these wonder 'chamois/towel/sponge-in-ones' can change the face of your messes and make cleaning joyful. Pull out one of these babies after spilling a can of soda on the carpet or when you're shining up the RV; save yourself a fortune in paper towels; for goodness sake, these things last 10 years! These infomercial folks understand human nature.  Even when we know something is too good to be true, we spend the $19.95...just in case. 

Then, when it doesn't perform miracles on pet accidents or dry off the car with one swipe 'as seen on t.v.', doesn't the disappointment and irritation set in?  

There is a part of all of us that want to believe the pitch. Vince even asks 'why do you want to work twice as hard?'  Well, Vince, why do you want to work at all? 

Of course, I can't help but think about how this translates beyond the infomercial...

The first, and least insightful, advice I can give to any new leader is to dig in and work hard.  Getting our hands dirty is one of the quickest ways to learn and appreciate and gain respect.  There are no shortcuts, or ShamWows, to get there faster or easier.  As far as messes go, with time cleaning up becomes quicker, less painful, and more efficient, but believing (or buying) that miracle that lifts wine from a carpet without any pressure is a set up.

I remind my self daily that it's not supposed to be easy, and if it gets easy, then I have either stopped pushing, stopped learning or found myself listening to Vince. 

So when I accidently pour a whole bottle of soda on the carpet, I will grab some old towels or (gasp) an entire roll of paper towels, get on my hands and knees, and scrub.